Celebratory Post!

As of yesterday, I’ve officially made it two years living full time as male. (My family even baked me a cake!  The celebration would have been really nice if it weren’t for… stuff.) Lots of things have changed.  I’ve been dealing with a lot of personal demons lately, a lot of shit from my childhood [...]

1 Year Manniversary!

So, it was this day last year that I made the decision to start living full time as male. I’ve pulled this from the first post on my blog:

“This is Day 1. Ground zero.
Today’s the official start of my transitioning process.
Some day, I won’t be the only person who sees me as a man. Some day the whole goddamn world will without a second guess. And it’s only a matter of time.
Joaquin Jack, the rootin’-est tootin’-est outlaw in the Wild West.”

A lot of things have changed since that day.

Name time!

Now that it’s been 8 days since my last post and officially the longest stretch I’ve gone without posting since beginning this blog, it’s time to jump back in the fray.

I’ve been spending a lot of time focusing on reconnecting with my past and working on seeing that I’ve been abandoning things I enjoy just because they were connected with the “girl side” of my life.

On the main subject, I’m having the worst time picking out a name.

THE most awesome day in history!

I really REALLY don’t want to make this into a long-ass dragged out post because, one, I have to go do something in 15 minutes, and two, I think long-ass posts are annoying, even though most of mine are. Case in point- I annoy myself. God, ALREADY I’m digressing. That’s what happens when I’m hyper. So, let’s get right to it and go through my day by bullet point…

I’m losing it.

At the time I’m writing this sentence, I’m losing my conviction that any of this is worth it.

(WARNING: Stream of consciousness blog ahead!)

The coming-out blues.

This post has a depressing beginning and a pick-me-up end. Come help me plan my coming out party!

This is now my transition AND integration journal.

EMO RANT INCOMING.

Geez, that last post was a huge chunk to handle. I don’t think anyone even knows how to respond to it. But I guess that’s okay, because nobody’s ever known how to respond to my DID. It’s one of those situations that is so comepletely outside of the norm that people expect, so they have no internal dialogue prepared for it when it comes up, no way of figuring out even what to feel about it.

Where do I even start?

I know I promised a massive groundbreaking STP post of some sort (<–more unneccessary buildup), and I estimated that I'd be posting it about… say, yesterday, but frankly, much bigger shit has been taking precedence in my life. New shit has come to light, as the Duder would say, and now it's been taking up so much of my thought that I can't really honestly make a post about a piss-tube. It's been so hard to even express all of this to MYSELF that I don't even know where to START on paper.